this year's really been.......
you're supposed to fill in the blank.
anw, i don't really know what to fill in in that blank so i'll just leave it blank.
but i looked back at the way i blogged like early this year, all the previous posts(excluding the ones in the recent months), i think i've really changed. especially in the way i blog o.o
i blogged like some paikia person in the past what with the slang, sadd;l0l;boiis etc etc. i don't really like the way i blogged in the past. i think now it's much better =="
but anw, yeah this year has kinda been lifechanging? looking back when i was primary 6 and stuff. when i didn't really know much. to this year, when everything has changed. the feelings, the academic results ahhems, the way you're supposed to study, the way you have to adapt to life and "culture" in st nic and stuff, more interaction with boys etc.
i don't really especially fancy the boys part ._.
i mean, it's get tiring after a while. but enough of this.
last night, the sadness of separation just clicked to me, and all the waterworks came flooding out. srsly. it just clicked. like how this thursday, it's gonna be the last official school day onedee '08 is gonna be together. last day. what do you expect? obviously i'll cry right? especially when listening to graduation by vitamin c. separation. just like last year. except i think last year was worse. i cried every single day. it's not just like, oh we're gonna be separated and stuff, but it's okaye, we won't drift apart, we'll just go out sometime and remain a happy face like this (:
no it's not like that. slowly, we ARE drifting apart. no matter how much we try, life's just like that. you drift, you remain close, it makes no difference. in the end, you're still gonna be separated. you CAN try and you may have a chance of remaining close as best friends, as long as two peeps make the effort. but imagine the work you have to put in, are really any of us willing to make that much an effort? it's like one year, it'll be phonecalls and occasional meetings. next year, few smses with like one or two gatherings. third year, when you meet you'll just say hi
and stand there awkwardly, not knowing what to say or do anymore. fourth year, it's just strangers for you. no saying hi, no smses, no phone calls, no gatherings. all that's left is memories. all the feelings, have faded. it's really quite sad.
so it's like almost every moment of your life, you're saying byebye.
it's not enough. that effort. it's just not enough.

sometimes, you just can't do it alone
different yet the same

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