Wednesday, October 1, 2008,10/01/2008 07:58:00 PM
these mundane thoughts;
just realised today's children's day. hmph. studying on children's day, yet AGAIN.
hah still remember last year when i was in p6. forced to mug by teachers and parents. after all, psle was DAYS away. but not sure if i mugged. then again, i've never really mugged in my life before. i think. ohwell, those days i miss, where the stuff we had to study was simpler. sighhs. reminiscing is not as fun as you think it is.
ohwell, changed blogskin. a new skin, a new life. kinda. because eoys is ending so there's new life:D well, then again, no, unlike other exams, where i'll rejoice and celebrate, i'll just have a minute of relief and then i'll snap back to this old mugging life again. rahhs.
so, i'm supposed to be studying. physics is the BANE of my life. so is CHEM in fact. not to mention maths and geog. they all hate me, i know. so do I. and maybe hist. i like hist though.
ohwell, sighs.that's all i have to say.
"What's up with the emo stuff?"
"Nothing much, just the usual I-don't-know-why-my-friends-hate-me stuff. I'm pretty discouraged to be nice to them when they aren't."
"Oh, like what?"
.........
".... so it's like that lor."
"Oh."
"Sometimes I really have no idea what stupid part of me still thinks that friends are really forever.""You have to work hard la"
"Yeah, maybe it's my fault that I didn't give my friends all my attention."
"Maybe. Friendship goes two ways."
"So what should I do now? Abandon those bad debts, and seek out fresh mistakes to make? Like what I always do?"
"You know you can try to repair."
"It's difficult. And it might not work. And I might get battered up."
"Are your friends worth it?"
"I don't know"found this on another blog. quite interesting, really. it's kinda a conversation in the shower between the person and his/her alter ego. i guess this really shows how i feel sometimes.
sometimes i wonder. whether i should delete this "platform of communication", eh? along with smsing and msn. might send the wrong message. because no facial expressions, no whatsoever emotions shown. the usage of emoticons will help but over usage will make you sound. kinda fake. and underusage will make you sound angry/pissed or whateverish. nonusage will make you sound damn evil. and cold. real coldddd. so what's there to do about it? wrong message, wrong emotions, wrong interpretation, wrong everything, whats the point? you can't really express your feelings THAT well unless you talk to the person face to face. or at least on the phone. at least the person can hear the ups and downs in your voice and tell your mood or something. it will seem insincere anyway. as in msn and sms and stuff.
but then again, i know some of my friends only though smsing and msning. like quite alot actually. some i only communicate to them through sms. some only through msn. some i started KNOWING them and communicating to them through sms and msn. like so far, what? 4? and all boys anyway. girls i all have the opportunity to meet:X except old classmates. who i don't bother calling anymore. as in, i may tell myself i don't have the time, but it's just an excuse i guess. it's just, we've drifted apart, yea? we wouldn't have much to talk on the phone anyway. and i don't talk well on the phone, i land with some quite awkward moments sometimes. yes i remember that phonecall, it was damn awkward and weird.
damn this going-to-be-sore-throat. i can't even scream now. maybe tomorrow i'll be hoarse alrdy. maybe i wouldn't even have a voice. i'm not sure if that's good or bad though. crappy, no more water in my bottle>: i do not want to go downstairs and take more damn water. but i NEED it! i'm addicted. to water. yea. well then again not really, i need the water. seriously for my damn irritating throat.
my bro goes crazy when he listens to this song called hysteria by muse. sounds kinda raw and loud. you can try going to have a listen though. there are MUCH nicer songs though. like broken man and the great escape by boyslikegirls(:
this is my longest post with the least emoticons.weird. in a weird mood anyway.
given up on science. tomorrow i'll be saying byebye to it like the song by mariah carey anyway so what's the point?
pride stopped me, then indifference.
