Saturday, July 5, 2008,7/05/2008 10:24:00 PM
P.O.P
D:
why is it always farewell?
why do we always have to say goodbye to our loved ones?
why does our heart break into pieces when it's time to say goodbye?
why does our world turn gray when we try not to cry when farewell is near?
why is there no such thing as 天长地久 on earth?
why do we only treasure what we have when it's gone?
why do people have to bid farewell?
why is it so sad always?
why do we feel the pain in our hearts when the people we love say goodbye to us?
today the ma'ams passed out. passed the baton to the sec 3s now ma'ams. the ex oic to oic, the ex aic to aic etc.
everything seems so...unbelievable.it seems just
yesterday when we were cadets attending our first CCA wondering what SJAB was all about, wondering who all the people our NCOs were introducing us to. everything was alien, ma'ams, aic, oic, dm...what did all these stand for? why was it needed? what is this CCA really all about?
I will always remember the first day we did footdrills. how we fidgeted. how we didn't lock our arms. how clumsy and slow we were. how we stoned.
and soon, how we disappointed the ma'ams again and again. how frustrated they were. how they almost gave up on us. how the red badge ma'ams made us improve. how we degraded ourselves again, bit by bit. how we must have disappointed the yellowbadge.
i talk like we're the squad passing out...
now, it's been at least 6 months since we first came into this CCA as the babies, as the ultimate juniors. now, we're on our own. we're expected to know everything. almost everything anyway. we're not the "babies" anymore. we can't rely on our seniors anymore. we need to DO THIS thing once and for all! we're in this together! if one squaddie cant do it, all of us can't continue. but why are we still so lousy? by this time, when the red badge ma'ams were sec 1s, their whole squad could say timing and march properly....why are we so....disappointing?
will the ma'ams/ HAVE THE MA'AMS left without regrets? like this? CAN THEY? I'm not sure anymore...I told them to have faith in us. I PROMISED them. What am i supposed to do? It was my fault my squadmate didn't sew on her shoulder flash properly, i should have told her properly. it was my fault that my squadmate forgot to bring black socks, i didn't remind her.
this heavy burden on my shoulders, it's weighing me down. i feel that it's all my fault we didn't give the ma'ams the best POP ever. it's my fault we have degrade YET AGAIN. i'm tired. i'm tired of telling my squaddies to SHOUT and don't STONE and don't FIDGET in squad. it's my responsibility, isn't it? Then why do we make trouble again and again for our seniors? Why do we seem like we don't belong in this almost perfect squads? Why is our squad so imperfect?
I want the yellowbadge to come back and see what a smart white squad we have became. but i'm not sure we can do it anymore.
my promise, may be broken. the trust, will be crushed. the responsibility, heavier than ever.
yellowbadge ma'ams, you guys have faith in us...but is it misplaced? Even I'm not sure how to help...all those empty promises I made in your POP message...I'm sorry. I really want to work hard, I WILL work hard......but it may not be enough.
.......................can we do it?
can we pull through as a squad? can survive without the yellowbadge ma'ams?
can all SNSJAB stay together forever?
someone light my way
i'll be there when the world stops turningi'll be there when the storm is throughin the end i wanna be standing at the beginning with youlife is a road and i wanna keep goinglove is a river i wanna keep going on
