Friday, March 14, 2008,3/14/2008 08:22:00 PM
EMO-ING
nobody ever asked, nobody ever cared, really.
nobody wanted 2 care, nobody wanted to know, nobody was concerned.
am i just a pathetic waste of space? everyday i ask myself that. What's the point of living when nobody even cares? nobody cares right?
Faking this smile, faking this laugh, faking this happiness, faking this....faking my life, putting up a pretence,.......i HATE it.......i can't do it anymore, i can't fake already!it's really very hard........does anybody really truly understand?
why can't anybody understand? has anybody really been through it? does anybody understand my pain?
why must i always consider other people's feelings? if i do that, in the end, who will care for mine, huh? Why is it always me who has 2 be self sacrificing, why do I always have to be the one who cannot breathe, why must i always be the one who has to care for others feelings, in the end, will anybody, will ANYBODY at all care for MINE?
why must i always be the lonely one? why must i always be the one getting scolded? why must i always be the one left out? why doesn't anybody CARE?
I have feelings you know! I'm not some unfeeling robot or something!
I don't know what this life actually means anymore, was I born to be tortured? was i born to be insulted by others?
can you hold my hand and take me through? can you take my hand and help me? can you hold your hand out for me to take?
why do you have 2 be so distant? Why do you look so faraway?
why did she have 2 take you away? WHY? I don't understand! she has everything i wanted, she has everything i needed, including YOU! you just left my life like that!glimpse in the future, i see the haggard me. i see what i will be in the future.....i laugh, i laugh at myself, my pathetic life, my pathetic.......me.
do you think i LOVE 2 cry??? Do you think it's not PAINFUL 2 cry? do you think after all the tears i have shed, i can live?
All the tears I shed today, are evidence of WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME.
getting everything, she still had to snatch you away? why so greedy? can't she leave me a corner to escape, a corner to live in?
I can't breathe anymore, I don't have space to breathe, i'm dying inside, nobody actually knows! I have to fake, i have to.....it's a ROUTINE...i have to fake a smile so you won't see the pain in me, you won't see the dying me........
can't you see that i need somebody's shoulder to cry on when i'm emo-ing?
can't you see that i need sombody's hug to get me the strength to go on with life when i'm sad?
can't you see that i can't live without you?
when i need your smile, you're not there for me.
when i need your hug, you're not there for me.
when i need you, you're not there.
not there at all.
imagine my life
imagine if you're dying in the inside,
but acting on the outside.
imagine, you're me.
imagine my life.
imagine having to act every single day
imagine having to emo alone, every, single, day.
imagine a life with only sadness in it,
imagine a life, with nobody to love you in it,
imagine a life, with somebody to insult you every single day,
imagine,you're me.
just imagine,
just imagine all the care you can give,
just imagine all the care, that you could have given,
imagine the care that was thrown away,
that could save my life.
imagine, you're me.
imagine somebody you know,
crying
everyday,
every minute,
every second,
and you're not aware of it.
imagine, you're me.
imagine somebody's un awareness,
of somebody right next to him/her,
dying,
right at that second.
imagine you're me.
imagine somebody you have always loved,
being snatch away right in front of your eyes,
imagine being helpless.
imagine all your friends leaving you,
even insulting you.
imagine you're me.
imagine crying,
with nobody there to help.
imagine pleading,
with nobody there to listen.
imagine begging,
with nobody there to respond.
imagine lying on your bed,
staring at the cold ceiling,
while nobody cares.
imagine somebody knocking,
and telling you to get lost.
imagine somebody you love,
telling you to go away.
imagine somebody you need,
pushing you away.
imagine faking a smile, everyday of your life.
imagine faking ur laughter,
imagine faking this happiness,
imagine faking every single happy thing in your life,
because all of it,
is fake.
imagine reality hitting you,
getting worse and worse, everyday.
imagine putting up a pretence,
imagine pretending to be thrilled,
imagine pretending to be actually HAPPY,
when actually, you never were.
imagine the hurt,
imagine the pain,
imagine the whirl of emotions,
all on the sad side.
imagine the disbelief, of this kind of life.
imagine the half scolding, half crying you will do everyday,
but after a week, you will find it's painful, to even scold.
imagine having the luxury, of dying little by little, everyday.
imagine the throbbing grief in your heart,
imagine the ache, when you find out, you can't do anything about it.
imagine the sting, when you finally realise,
nobody ever loved you before.
imagine the bareness,
imagine the blankness.
imagine the devotion you have for someone,
being shoved out of the picture.
imagine the need you have for someone,
being drove out of the window.
imagine that situation,
and see it as mine.
just imagine,
just imagine.Because
that's my life.
