Thursday, November 1, 2007,11/01/2007 08:11:00 PM
A Letter
This letter is dedicated to one of my friends who was once my best friend.
Dear Karen,
I'm sorry that you feel that way, sorry that I ignored you, sorry that I hurt your feelings, sorry for scolding you, sorry for not treating you as...a good friend. I'm not asking that you forgive me, but can't we be like last time, good friends? I did not know that I hurt your feelings so much, and I'm sorry that I never did consider your feelings. We have drifted apart, I know, we all know, but maybe we just don't want to face up to reality, that maybe the distance between us can never be closed up again. I know that for these 2 years, I have not been treating you that good. I'm sorry, can't we just be good friends again? I don't want to lose you as my good friend. I don't want to give up on THIS friendship.
You are very nice to me, but I have let you down. You treat me as your good friend, maybe I have not. I'm sorry I ignored you or scolded you for no reason, I just did not know it. Out of all my best friends, you are one of the nicest. Although I may lose my temper sometimes, you stay beside me, and support me. I have never once appreciated you, or thanked you, but you have never complained. I know, that may not last for long. You want to be a friend, just a normal friend now. I think I may have lost this best friend, forever. I'm really sorry, for being the lousiest friend you ever have. I can't face you, because I know I have done you wrong. I made new friends, and left you out, and I don't blame you for wanting to just be friends, not good friends.
I did not know that I hurt you. I got too caught up with my own feelings and matters. I never once considered your feelings.I never once, said that I appreciated you. I never once said thank you. Though I say my friends are lousy, maybe I'm the lousiest one of all.... to you.
SORRY, sorry for not being a good friend. Sorry, for not treating you as one. Sorry, for being wrong. Sorry for being selfish. Sorry, for not appreciating you.
I have not forgotten you, just that I put our friendship deep in my heart. I may not seem to treat you as one of my best friends, but actually I do. I may not talk to you much, because...I'm too caught up with myself. I'm sorry, for ignoring you, or leaving you out. I think I really treated you like that.
I do not blame you for being angry, I would be angry at myself too if I were you. Sorry for destroying our friendship. I wanna still treat you as my good friend, but you don't wanna be mine. I know for now, that no matter what I do, you will only treat me as a friend.
We can still talk, we can still hang out, but I know, things between us may never be the same again. I blame others, for destroying friendship, but I myself, am one. I cannot blame others, because I know I am to blame for this. Someone once said that I was kind and caring and understands other people's feelings, and considers other people's feelings. But actually I'm not. It is easy from best friends to become friends, but I can't do it. I really still treat you as my best friend, because no matter what, you stood by me, but I was not there for you when you needed me. Only now, when you have given up on this friendship, then I have learnt to treasure and cherish it. It's too late for us, I know, and I'm really sorry. I can't do anything to take back my harshful words, and your hurt feelings. This has been going on for 2 years, and maybe...you really should give up, I don't deserve such a good friend like you.
I wil always treat you as a good friend, always and forever. But I know I don't deserve your friendship, I know I don't deserve you to be nice to me. For a period of time, you were the best friend anyone could be, and you stood by me. Now that we are going to be separated soon, I feel a pain in my heart, but I know that place in your heart for me, has vanished and been replaced, by some other friend who will treat you better.
I didn't think much of it, that time, when I ignored you, or refused to help you, but you took it to your heart, but I won't blame you for being narrow-minded, or silly, because I am the one who is stupid and selfish, to let our friendship go, just like that. It is now unreachable, and no matter what I do, kick, cry, fuss, shout, or throw a tantrum, you have already left me.
I will always, always, always treat you as my best friend. I give my heartfelt apologies, for spoiling our friendship. Nothing will be the same again, between us, and it is all my fault. I'm sorry...
Love, your ex-best-friend.
I don't know if you are seeing this,Karen, but you are probably not, and this will not change your mind too, I know. But I wrote this, not because I want you to change your mind, but I wrote it because I know I hurt you, and I need to let you know how I feel. You have many other friends, and have made other best friends, and I know you do not need me anymore. I really want to be your gd friend, but it is impossible, I know. Goodbye...I will always love you as my best friend......
